I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you would pick up someone in the library
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
