I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
