Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
We had to coat check the pizza.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
