I feel like abortions should bother me more
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
