bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.