all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.