no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
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Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine