when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.