Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"