Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
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Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
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I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.