Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(850): View more from Florida

when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.

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(541): View more from Oregon

This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.

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(573): View more from Missouri

The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season

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(317): View more from Indiana

The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(917): View more from New York City

What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.

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(315): View more from New York

Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...

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(703): View more from Virginia

Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.

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