I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(