I want to have your abortion
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Shitshow foam night was such a success
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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