I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
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Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
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I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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