thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
In the future we'll all be gay
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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