i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
