i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
