I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
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You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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