and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
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