Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
