i was rollin on her like bob the builder
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
