also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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