I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
