i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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