Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
