I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
