1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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