Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
