So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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