I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
