Got a toothbrush?
someone threw a dead crab at me
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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