You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
