Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
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the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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