so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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