i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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