Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
