I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
