she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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