It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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