fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
