420 ftw
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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