I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize