How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
