i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
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two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
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I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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