Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
