I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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