great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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