There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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