i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Randomize
