can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
