I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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