I'm lost and stupid without you.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
