in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
