Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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