On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
