Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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