I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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