I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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