My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
