Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
