You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
