Fine. I'll sleep in my office
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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