my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
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