this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
