the condom got lost in my hair
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
