I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
