She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
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I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
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You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize