how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
