So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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