He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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