the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize